there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize