i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize