Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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