Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
