I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize