There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
