I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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