Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
