Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
