It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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