I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
