tell your sister to shave her snatch
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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