So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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