The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
