I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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