Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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