no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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