The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
