I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
