I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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