I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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