i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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