You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
