My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I checked into jail on foursquare
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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