He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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