I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
