Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
