so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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