I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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