Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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