Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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