so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
