I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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