hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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