She's JV to your varsity
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I just found a bag of teeth...
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize