We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize