Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
