How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
You're earring is so big in my mouth
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
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