My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
