Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
