Soap is not a condiment
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
