I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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