I'm really into asian looking animals
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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