I think my fart just growled at me.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
