You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
