I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
we made out on top of his cat.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
