can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
