Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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