Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Fuck appropriateness.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
