I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize