Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Randomize
