Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
