Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
