my mouth tastes like poor choices
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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