you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
