The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
