There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
