you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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