I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
