we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
