You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
