i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
