I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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