$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
this is an emotional support booty call
i now understand why vodka
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
