It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
