i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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