I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
