guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
