he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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